Living With A Broken Heart
by Mrs Carmichael
Summary: When something breaks you can usually fix it. Can the same be said for a broken heart when the one you love leaves you behind? Will you ever forget the one that walked away? May end Christmassy. Plz R&R luv ya lots Gemz xx
1. Putting On A Brave Face

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters used in this story, all are property of The Bill. Any __unrecognised characters however, do belong to me._

_This is going to be a departure from the usual Huxon fluffiness that you guys are used to reading from me but I hope you'll enjoy it all the same._

_This story is solely dedicated to Laura AKA (__SaMaNdPhiL4eVeR__), without her encouragement and motivation, I don't think I'd have got this started. Thankx hun!_

_Btw, I changed my pen-name, as you may have noticed._

_Plz R&R, luv ya all Gemz xx_

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Living with a Broken Heart**

**Summary: When something breaks you can usually fix it. Can the same be said for a broken heart when the one you love leaves you behind? Will you ever forget the one that walked away?**

Chapter 1- Putting on A Brave Face

'_Did they tell you about my injury?' Phil asked Sam as they stood in the back yard._

'_Uh, uh…yes, the err…the fact that you didn't break your ankle when you were chasing a maniac, like you told everyone here,'_

_Phil sighed as he looked back at Sam, 'I did it vaulting over a pub table…'_

_Sam smirked, '…They told me not to do it and they were right you know,' Phil continued as he gazed into Sam's eyes. 'You'd have been proud of me though. I nearly, you know, I nearly made it.'_

'_You'll fit in very nicely over there,' Sam said as she turned around and began to walk away._

_She walked down the slope and then a thought occurred to her, she turned around again to face Phil. 'And umm…Don't worry, I've given you a glowing reference, I had to lie a bit but…'_

'_Listen, I'm gonna miss you,' Phil called._

_Sam stopped at the bottom of the slope. She was torn between ignoring him and walking away and just turning round to see his face one last time. She turned around and exchanged a smile with Phil._

'I'm gonna miss you too Phil,' Sam said.

It was all she could do to stop herself from running back up that slope and throwing herself into Phil's arms. He was leaving, a declaration of love from her wasn't going to stop him from going, he'd made his decision. She couldn't change that, she just had to live with it.

Sam really wanted to say something about how she felt to Phil but once she'd plucked up the courage, he told her that he was leaving. She'd fallen in love with him, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Sam turned the corner and soon, she was out of sight. Phil sighed deeply, wondering how deeply his departure was affecting her. 'Do you fancy going to the pub Phil?' she asked as she poked her head around the corner.

'What for?' Phil replied.

Sam shrugged her shoulders, 'farewell drink,' she said.

Phil thought about this for a moment, 'yeah OK,' he replied.

'Just give me a minute and I'll give you a lift,' Sam said as she disappeared back around the corner.

She began to walk towards her car and as she did so, she got her phone out and called Jo's mobile. It rang a couple of times before Jo answered, 'hello?' she said.

'Jo, it's me. He's taken the bait. I'm bringing him now,' Sam replied.

'Nice one,' Jo said as she hung up.

She turned to the rest of the relief, who, with her, were in the Seven Bells. 'We're on,' Jo announced.

Everyone around her cheered and high-fived each other. 'I can't believe he thought that we'd forget,' Mickey said.

'How could we?' Jo asked as Will and Smithy put the finishing touches to the banner that had been put up which said: _Goodbye Phil and good luck. We'll miss you! _A simple statement that said so much.

* * *

Sam pulled up outside The Seven Bells a few minutes later. She locked the car up as Phil went towards the pub door and when he opened it, he was confronted by the relief shouting: 'SURPRISE!' 

'I thought you'd all forgotten,' Phil said as the pub door opened once more.

'How could we forget Phil? You've been a great asset to this department and I think I speak for everyone when I say that we're all going to miss you,' Sam said as she closed the pub door behind her as the relief fell silent.

She knew she was speaking the truth and in a way, that had been the hardest thing she had ever had to say. It was difficult for Sam, to stand there, so close to the one she loved and not be able to tell Phil how she felt about him. She wished she'd had the courage to tell him how she felt sooner, maybe while they were still together but she hadn't and now, Sam felt sure that she was going to live to regret it.

Phil turned around to face Sam, 'you organized this?' he asked.

'Well, I can't take all the credit, everyone chipped in,'

Phil looked around at his old colleagues; he had had a lump in his throat ever since that conversation with Sam, when they'd both said they'd miss each other. The reality of what he was doing finally hit him; he was moving on. Sun Hill had been like a second home to him over the last 5years and he'd experienced some really good times there but he felt it was time for him to move on and explore new challenges. 'You certainly kept that quiet,' he remarked. 'I guess the first's round's on me.'

The entire relief clapped and cheered at this as Phil made his way over to the bar. Sam went through the crowds and sat herself down on a barstool beside Jo. They got their drinks and proposed a toast to Phil and his new job at Special Projects. Even though it was a sad day for everyone at Sun Hill, they were all enjoying themselves, all except one person…

Sam was still sat on the barstool, staring, glassy-eyed into the bottom of her finished wine glass. She was upset that Phil was going, she'd tried to disguise when he told her but she didn't think it worked very well. Jo came back over to Sam and sat down beside her, 'what's up Sam?' she asked.

'Nothing Jo,' she lied.

'Well, whatever it is, you're not gonna find the answer at the bottom of a glass,' Jo joked. 'I'll get you another drink.'

'Thanks Jo,' Sam attempted a smile but it didn't really work.

She caught sight of Phil stood at the opposite end of the bar talking to Neil. Tears began to well up in her eyes but she blinked them away, determined to keep the façade going. Jo passed Sam another glass of wine, 'cheers Jo,' she said.

About half an hour later, Sam finished her third glass of wine and left Jo talking to Mickey. She went off to find Phil, who was still talking to Neil at the opposite end of the bar. Neil saw Sam coming and turned to Phil, 'I'll leave you to it,' he said as he left Phil and Sam on their own.

'I can't believe you're going Phil,' Sam said.

'I'm sure we'll work together again sometime,' Phil replied.

'I meant what I said earlier, I really _am_ going to miss you,'

Phil smiled at her, 'come here Sam,' he said.

Sam walked towards him and Phil wrapped his arms around Sam's petite frame. She sighed quietly as she felt his strong arms envelope her in a hug. This may be the last time that Sam would have Phil this close to her and she was determined to remember this moment forever. She wrapped her arms around Phil's neck and closed her eyes, as though trying to cement this moment in her mind. Phil pulled away and gazed into Sam's eyes, 'keep in touch yeah Phil?' Sam said.

'Course I will Sam,' Phil replied.

'I'm gonna go now, enjoy yourself at Special Projects,'

Sam pressed a light kiss against Phil's cheek before waking towards the pub door and opening it. Phil watched until the pub door closed once more, signalling Sam's departure from the pub. Phil walked over to the bar and sighed quietly, he always knew that he was going to miss Sam, until now, he had no idea how much.

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Well, what do you think? You know what to do. Press the purple button and review. 4reviews before I post the nxt chapter, luv ya all Gemz xx_


	2. Too Much To Bear

**Hey guys, next chapter for you. Thanks so much to all who reviewed the previous chapter: Laura (****SaMaNdPhiL4eVeR), Leanne, Shanon, BabyLeah, Claire, Emz, Katie, Laura, Sam, Amy and cat-lou-91. Plz keep doing so, luv ya all Gemz xx**

Chapter 2- Too Much To Bear

Sam pulled her car up in the driveway of her house. She locked her car up and walked towards her front door and unlocked it. She stepped inside and closed the door behind her, bending downwards to undo her boots and left them by the door. Sam walked through to her living room and flopped down on the sofa. She looked around and sighed to herself. Look at her, she was 43, no husband, no family with her and she was lonely. The only thing that made her what she was was the job. Her job was everything to her and without it, she'd have nothing. She was truly married to the job and it was the only thing that kept her going.

Every relationship she'd ever had had ended in disaster, maybe because Sam was so guarded where her feelings were concerned. In fact, she was so guarded that she'd built up defences around her that stopped her from ever loving anyone. The last person that Sam had allowed herself to love was Glen and he turned out to be a child killer, it was because of Glen that these defences had been built up. Sam couldn't bear to be hurt like that again and perhaps the best way to do that was not to love at all.

All that had changed when she and Phil had been out in Romania just over a year ago. In that B&B, her well built-up defences crumbled as she made her move on Phil. For the first time in her life, she was letting her heart rule her judgment. His declaration of love had come as a surprise to both of them, but particularly to Sam. Phil's past reputation left a lot to be desired and all she could think about was how many women he'd said that to over the years, and how many of those he'd left behind. Sam was determined not to become another of Phil's conquests but ultimately, that was what she did become when she ended their short, but passionate affair. This was something that she now regretted doing.

Ever since her well-deserved promotion to DI, Sam had tired to rebuild the defences set around her, but to no avail. Everywhere she looked, all she could see was Phil and his appearance would set her back even further. She thought that Phil's departure would give her a chance to rebuild her defences but in reality, it only confirmed one thing. Sam had fallen in love with Phil; he was the one who'd crushed her defences, never to be built up again.

Sam stood up and went through to her kitchen. She walked over to her fridge and stopped. She smiled wryly at the picture that was there. It was a set of pictures that was taken when Phil took her out for a meal not long after Romania. Sam dragged him into a photo booth and they got a strip of pictures each, the pictures started off quite normal but the poses got sillier as it went on and the last one on the strip was of Sam and Phil kissing. Tears began to well up in Sam's eyes as she remembered. Happy times, why couldn't things have stayed the way they were before his declaration of love?

Sam replaced the picture under the fridge magnet and opened her fridge door, scanning its contents for something that would make her feel better. She found the bottle of red wine she was looking for and closing the fridge, reaching up afterwards to open the cupboard above the fridge to get herself a glass. She closed the cupboard after her and picked up the bottle of wine, along with the glass and left the kitchen.

* * *

Sam went into her bedroom and closed the door behind her. She walked over to her en-suite bathroom and opened the door. She put the bottle of wine and the glass down beside the bath as she began to run the water. She went over to the bathroom cabinet and took out a bottle of bubble bath, which she poured into the bath. Sam waited till the water had bubbled up before undressing herself and sliding into the warm water. She poured herself out a bottle of wine and drank, Sam sighed deeply. She knew that getting over Phil wasn't going to be easy but she had to try, for her own sake. She couldn't go around lusting after someone who wasn't there to return her affections. However, forgetting Phil Hunter wasn't going to be easy, she was in love and nothing could change that feeling.

* * *

Sam got out of the bath about bath an hour later, dressing in pair of light pink pyjamas. She took her silk dressing gown off the back of the bathroom door and wrapped it around herself. She picked up the now half-finished bottle of wine and the glass and put them down on her bedside cabinet. Her eyes were drawn to the wardrobe in the corner. Sam got up, walked over to the wardrobe and opened it. She sighed; in her wardrobe were a number of suits, used only for work, a few white tops, a few pairs of jeans and a large assortment of other clothes. She moved aside some of her suits and knelt down, the bottom of the wardrobe was coated with a small selection of shoes. In amongst the shoes, she saw what she was looking for, a small box, barely bigger than a shoebox. She picked up the box and smiled to herself. This box had all her memories in it. Memories of the good, not the bad.

Sam picked up the box and set it down on the bottom of her bed. She pulled open the covers of her bed and climbed under the duvet. Sam reached out to pick the box up and set it down on her lap. She turned slightly and topped up her wine glass. Sam opened up the box and the first thing she saw was a letter that Abi had sent her not long after she'd started at university. Sam smiled to herself, although she and Abi hadn't had the best mother-daughter relationship, they had gotten closer after her ordeal at the hands of Hugh Wallis. Enclosed with the letter Abi had sent a photo of her son, Jared. Sam picked up the photo and looked at it. He was such a beautiful little boy, there was no sight of his father in his features at all, he'd certainly inherited Abi's looks. In a way, Sam really dreaded the day that Jared started asking where his father was. She dreaded it for Abi's sake because, depending on what she told him, Abi might have relive that whole ordeal and it was traumatic enough the first time, let alone going through it again. Sam knew Abi would find a way; she had inherited her mother's steely determination after all.

Sam took a sip from the wine glass as she put the box to one side. She turned around and caught sight of the photo frame that stood on her bedside cabinet, beside the bottle of wine. Sam put the wine glass down and picked up the photo frame, smiling wryly at the photo inside. It was a photo from the trip to the London Eye which had turned into an impromptu leaving do for Yvonne. Phil had one arm casually draped across Sam's shoulder, holding her closer to him and a champagne glass in the other. Sam's head was resting against Phil's as their glasses clinked together in the photo. Tears began to well up in her eyes and this time, she didn't even try to hold them back. She looked at the picture through tear-stained eyes and whispered: 'why did you have to go Phil?'

She sat up a bit further and she threw the photo frame across the room, watching the glass smash on the floor near her door. Sam looked at the remnants of the frame, feeling that the state of that frame mirrored the state of her heart, broken, never to be repaired. The pain of Phil's departure was just too much to bear.

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	3. If Only

**Heya guys, next chapter for you. Thanks to Laura (****SaMaNdPhiL4eVeR), Kelly, Amy, Lynsey, Laura (S-Nixon, Leanne, cat-lou-91, Sam and DetBarb for reviewing the previous chapter. Please keep doing so, luv ya all Gemz xxx**

Chapter 3- If Only

A week had passed since Phil's departure and Sam still hadn't heard anything from him. Maybe he was still settling in but Sam wasn't convinced, she was still finding it difficult to accept that he'd actually gone and had thrown herself into her work, as though trying to forget the feelings that she had for Phil.

All her CID colleagues had noticed the change in her personality since Phil's departure. She had changed; it was as though his departure had sucked everything out of her. She was cold, distant and was no longer as fun to be around as she had been. DCI Jack Meadows knocked on her office door on Wednesday morning. 'Can I ask you a favour Sam?' he asked.

'What is it Guv?'

'Well, I need someone to conduct the interviews for the new DS, Neil's on leave at the moment so would you do it?'

Sam stomach lurched, interviews for the new DS, it felt as though they were forgetting that Phil had ever existed, it wasn't as simple as that for Sam though. 'Yeah, I'll do it,' she finally said. It wasn't as though she had anything to get home to.

'Great, thanks Sam,' Jack said as he turned around but something else struck him. 'Are you OK Sam?' he asked, he too had noticed the change in Sam.

'I'm fine guv,' Sam lied.

Jack nodded as he left the office and closed the door behind him. Sam put her head in her hands and sighed to herself, she knew she had to get over Phil but that was easier said than done.

That day, Sam conducted the interview for Phil's replacement DS. She knocked on Jack's office door at the end of the day. 'Come in!' Jack called.

Sam stepped into the office and closed the door after her. 'I think I've found a replacement for Phil,' she said, trying to put a brave face on it.

Finding a replacement for Phil was just about as painful as letting him go in the first place. She had had chances to tell him how she felt about him but she didn't take them and now, Sam was being punished for not taking the chances that had presented themselves. 'Who have you decided on then Sam?'

'Leanne Clarke, I reckon she'd fit in well with the rest of CID and with her track record, I reckon she would be a great asset to this department,'

'OK then Sam, we'll announce the news to the rest of CID once the other candidates have been notified,' Jack replied.

'Guv,' Sam said as she walked towards the door and opened it.

Jo knocked on Sam's office door at about 5:30 that evening. 'Do you wanna come down the pub for a drink guv?' she asked.

Sam looked up from her paperwork, 'no thanks Jo, I've got this lot to sort out,' she said.

Jo nodded, 'OK then guv, see you tomorrow,' she said.

'See you Jo,' Sam replied.

Jo closed the office door and Sam sighed to herself, Phil's departure had changed so much in her. She'd chosen the new DS and now she'd done that, there was no going back, Phil couldn't come back now, even if he'd wanted to. Sam wanted him back at Sun Hill more than anything; she really missed having him to talk to.

Sam smiled wryly as she remembered all the good times that she and Phil had had. The office flirting, the arguments, if only she could turn back time. She would've done things differently if she had the opportunity, she would've told Phil how she felt sooner. Maybe someday, she would have a chance to make things right.

On the other side of London, Phil had just come back from work at Special Projects. He had left Sun Hill a week ago and yet, it did only seem like yesterday. Phil still missed everyone that he had worked with, one person in particular. He entered his living room and smiled at the picture that he'd put on his mantelpiece, it was the same picture he'd put into his box on his last day at Sun Hill. This was the woman who still consumed his thoughts and dreams from the other side of London. He really, really missed seeing Sam at work everyday. Still, it was a sacrifice and at the moment, Phil wasn't sure whether it had been worth it. He still loved Sam, nothing was going to change that but he didn't know what Sam felt for him. If only he knew.

Phil shook his head, trying to erase all thoughts of Sam from his mind. That was easier said than done, everything in this room made him think of Sam. The picture, everything carried reminders of his time at Sun Hill, with Sam. He wanted to get in touch with her but something held him back, he didn't know whether Sam would welcome contact from him. If only he knew that was all that she wanted.

**Will Sam and Phil ever be reunited? There's only one way to find out. 24reviews b4 I post the nxt chapter, luv ya all Gemz xx**


	4. New Recruit

**Heya guys, next chapter for you, sorry it's taken so long. Thanks to Laura (****SaMaNdPhiL4eVeR), Sam, Laura (S-Nixon), Kelly, Lynsey, Leanne and Gem for reviewing the previous chapter. Luv ya all Gemz xxx**

Chapter 4- New Recruit

A week after being told she'd got the job, DS Leanne Clarke started at Sun Hill CID. She was welcomed by most of her CID colleagues and they agreed that she would be a welcome addition to the team. One person wasn't so quick to welcome her. Despite being the one that had recruited her, Sam was slightly uneasy about Leanne's arrival. She was the best of the four applicants but in Sam's mind, she was nowhere near as good as Phil. No-one could ever fill the void that had been left as a result of his departure.

Phil had been gone for two weeks now and he still hadn't contacted her. Sam was beginning to wonder whether he'd forgotten about her. She wanted to call him but she didn't want to make the first move on Phil, just in case she was rejected. Sam loved Phil, she knew she did, but she didn't know if he felt anything for her.

* * *

'Sarge!' DC Burton called across the office to Phil.

'What is it?' Phil asked, looking up wearily.

'We're going down to the pub to celebrate our result, do you wanna join us?'

Phil shook his head, 'yeah, why not,' he said. _It's not as though I've got anything to get home to, he thought._

'First round's on me!' DC Burton called again.

This was met by rapturous applause as people picked up their coats and left the office for the nearest pub.

Phil watched as the last of his Special Projects colleagues left the office. He sighed quietly to himself, wondering, not for the first time in the last fortnight whether his transfer was a sensible idea. He was missing his mates at Sun Hill, one person in particular. Sam was the person that he couldn't stop thinking about, he still loved her after all. He didn't know whether she felt anything for him at all. He had tried to force Sam from his mind but in reality, that was easier said than done. Samantha Nixon had been the object of his desire for years and forgetting all about her was going be really, really difficult. He hadn't seen or spoken to her for two weeks now, Phil thought the time was right to make contact with her.

He picked up his coat off the back of his chair and walked out of the door, heading off to the nearest pub. Phil needed a drink and some time to work out how it would be best to contact Sam.

* * *

Leanne knocked on Sam's office door at about 5:30 that afternoon. 'Come in!' she called.

Leanne opened the office door, 'do you wanna come for a drink with us down the pub guv, to celebrate my first day?' she asked.

Sam's stomach gave an unpleasant lurch, how could she go out and celebrate Leanne's first day thinking that she wasn't going to be as good as her predecessor? She knew that she had to try and get over this and maybe this was the first step to overcoming it. 'I've just some paperwork to finish off but I'll try and get there as soon as I've finished,' she replied.

Leanne nodded as she closed the door when she left. Sam waited until she heard the main doors to CID swing open before bending her head over her paperwork. She had the office to herself; Neil had taken a couple of weeks holiday. Without the distractions, she thought that she'd be able to get her paperwork done quicker.

* * *

Sure enough, Sam finished her paperwork about an hour later. She left it on her desk, ready to be filed the next morning. Sam picked up her bags and opened her office door, closing it carefully behind her. Sam opened the main door to CID, descended the staircase and left the station.

She pulled up outside the Seven Bells about 10minutes later. Sam locked her car up, taking her handbag with her and opened the door to the pub. She looked around and noticed that Jo and the others had got a table in the corner. She went over to them and Jo stood up, 'what can I get you to drink guv?' she asked.

'I'll just have a white wine please Jo,' Sam smiled at her.

Jo nodded as she went over to the bar to order their round of drinks. She came back and put the tray down on the table. Everyone picked their drinks up off the tray and Jo proposed a toast, 'welcome to Sun Hill Leanne,' she said.

Everyone nodded and murmured similar welcomes. No-one, except Stuart noticed how forced Sam's reply was. Something had changed in her since Phil's departure and he was keen to find out what it was.

* * *

'Right, that's it, I'm off,' Phil said as he finished off his second glass of beer.

'Oh come on Phil,' his fellow DS, Lee Harper replied. 'Just one more.'

'No,' Phil replied insistently. 'I'm going home, I'll see you tomorrow.'

'See you,' his colleagues called after him as he opened the door to the pub and disappeared into the night.

Phil pulled his car up outside his place about 15minutes later. He opened the door and went through to the living room, searching everywhere for a pen and paper. He'd decided that the best way to contact Sam was to write her a letter. That way, she didn't have to read it if she didn't want to. If he called her, Phil thought that hearing her voice would be too much; it would just make him feel worse about taking the position at Special Projects. In a moment of weakness, he'd accepted that job and now, he had to live with that decision. He still loved Sam and he doubted that he would ever stop.

Eventually, he found a pad of paper and a pen and wrote a letter to Sam.

* * *

Half an hour later, he sealed the envelope and wrote Sam's address on the front. He sighed to himself, wondering what her reaction would be to getting this letter. He walked into the hall and out of his front door; Phil walked down to the post-box and posted his letter. He came back and shut the front door behind him. His work was done, now he just had to wait in hope. Hope that Sam would reply.

**So…will Sam get Phil's letter and more importantly, if she does get it, will she reply? There's only one way to find out ;) xx**


	5. Contact

**Hey guys, next chapter for you, sorry it's taken so long. Thanks to Laura (****SaMaNdPhiL4eVeR), Sam, Laura (S-Nixon), Lynsey, Leanne and Gem for reviewing. Please keep doing so, luv ya all Gemz xx**

Chapter 5- Contact

A couple of days later, Sam was woken by a loud rattling coming from downstairs. She pulled on her dressing gown and went downstairs to investigate; she reached the bottom of her staircase and saw a small pile of mail on the floor. She sighed, that was what had made the noise. She walked over to her doormat and picked up the five letters that were lying on her doormat. She looked at the five letters, 'junk,' she muttered in relation to the first four.

She reached the final letter and her body froze. She would recognise that writing anywhere, it was from Phil, she was sure of it. Sam stood there, looking at the letter for a good five minutes, trying to decide whether to open it or to leave it.

This was what she had been waiting for ever since Phil's departure. On one hand, she wanted to open just to see what he'd written but on the other, she didn't want to open it because I would just make her miss him even more. She loved him, she couldn't deny that. Sam had had her chance with Phil but she blew it, that was it. There was going to be no second chances for her and Phil. At least, that's what she thought. She looked at Phil's familiar scrawl and put the letter underneath her telephone. There was no point in carrying on the way she had been these past weeks, she had to live with the decision that Phil had made. He'd walked away from her that day. She went upstairs to prepare for her day at work, she was determined to at least try and move on from Phil.

Sam opened the door to her bedroom. One thing caught her eye; the early morning sunlight was coming through her bedroom window, casting its light on the photo frame that was on Sam's bedside table. The photo frame that she'd thrown across her room and smashed on the night of Phil's departure. She took it off her bedside table and went over to her wardrobe, she knelt down and pulled out the same box that she'd had out that same night. Sam opened the box up and put the photo frame on top before replacing it back in the wardrobe. If she was going to try and move on from Phil Hunter, she had to do it this way. No reminders, no photos, nothing.

* * *

That day, Sam was working on a case with Stuart. It was a complex blackmail case. During the course of their investigation, Stuart noticed the change that had fallen upon Sam. She seemed…different in some way and Stuart couldn't quite put his finger on what had brought about this change. 'What is it with you guv?' he asked later that afternoon, trying his best to be polite.

'What do you mean Stuart?' Sam replied.

'It's just yesterday, you seemed pretty down and today, you're not,'

'Well, I've just realised that there's not much point getting upset over something might that never happen?'

'What does that mean?'

'Nothing Stuart,' Sam said.

* * *

Sam and Stuart cracked the blackmail case and he knocked on her office door at about 6 o'clock that evening. 'Come in!' Sam called.

Stuart opened the office door and stepped inside. 'Do you fancy a drink guv? To celebrate our good result,' he asked.

Sam thought about it for a moment, 'yeah, why not Stuart,' she said. 'Just wait a minute and I'll be with you.'

'I tell you what; I'll pick you up from your place at about 7. Does that sound OK?'

'That's fine with me,'

Stuart smiled at her and he closed the door as he left. Sam smiled to herself; maybe this was going to be the first step in her quest to forget Phil. She needed to learn to enjoy herself again; she hadn't really done much of that since Phil's departure from Sun Hill.

* * *

Stuart knocked on the door of Sam's house just before 7. 'I'm coming!' she called as she unlocked the door.

She opened the door and smiled at Stuart, 'you look nice,' he said.

'Thanks Stuart,' Sam replied.

'You ready?'

Sam nodded as she stepped outside and locked the door behind her. She followed Stuart down the garden path, Phil's letter lying forgotten underneath the telephone.

* * *

Sam got her and Stuart a table in the Seven Bells as he went up to the bar to order their drinks. He came back a few minutes later, 'there you go,' he said as he put a glass of red wine down in front of Sam.

'Thanks Stuart,' she smiled as she took a sip.

* * *

15minutes later, she'd finished her first drink and Stuart had just got up to order the second round, 'large vodka,' he said to the barman.

'Oi!' Sam called to him.

Stuart turned around, 'you'd better make that a large red wine as well,' Sam said.

Stuart turned back to the barman, 'and a large red wine please,' he added, handing the barman the money.

_

* * *

Two hours and many drinks later_

'Can I ask you something Stuart?' Sam asked.

'Course you can Sam, what is it?' Stuart replied as he moved to sit next to her.

Sam looked up at him, gazing into his eyes, 'do you think I'm cut out for this job?' she finally asked.

'What makes you think you're not?'

'Just answer the question,'

Stuart thought for a moment and then looked, 'well, you have your moments…Yeah, of course you are Sam, you're perfect for the job,'

Sam smiled at him, 'anyway,' Stuart said as he fumbled around in his pocket for his phone. 'I'd better call a cab.'

'Oh for god's sake Stuart lets take a walk, take our chances,' Sam replied.

'Yeah, I could do with a breath of fresh air,'

Sam smiled as she stood up and followed Stuart out of the pub. They began to walk along the road when Sam stumbled against Stuart. He caught her and leant her up against the wall, Sam smiled at him, 'thanks Stuart,' she said.

'Just doing my duty,' he replied.

'What duty is that then?'

Stuart gazed down at her and brushed his lips against hers. He pulled away and looked at her, she smiled at him and put one hand on the back of his neck, pulling him closer to her. Their lips again, softly at first but the kiss quickly became more passionate. Stuart deepened the kiss as Sam wrapped her arms around his neck…

**Oooh, will they or won't they? Please review xx**


	6. A Big Mistake

**Hey guys, next chapter for you. Sorry it's taken so long. I apologise for what happened at the end of the last chapter, hopefully this will make it better. Thanks to Laura (****SaMaNdPhiL4eVeR), Sam, Laura (S-Nixon), Emz, Lynsey and Elz for reviewing. Please keep doing so, luv ya lots Gemz xxxx**

Chapter 6- A Big Mistake

Sam woke up early the next morning; she sat up and looked around the unfamiliar room, trying to remember where she was. Sam turned around slightly and let out a small gasp of horror, there was Stuart, sleeping peacefully beside her. It all suddenly began to make sense to Sam, she and Stuart had slept together.

Sam quietly climbed out of the bed and tiptoed over to the other side of the room to retrieve her clothes. She picked them up and quietly opened the bedroom door and went into the bathroom to dress.

* * *

5 minutes later, Sam emerged from the bathroom fully dressed, she peeked around Stuart's bedroom door, he was still sleeping peacefully. Sighing quietly to herself, she crept downstairs and picked her stuff up from the hall before opening the door quietly, closing it as she left, with a small click.

* * *

Stuart woke up a little while later, he yawned as he stretched his arm out to where he assumed Sam would still be, the bed was empty. Stuart sighed quietly to himself as he looked to the corner of the room; Sam's clothes were no longer there, meaning that she'd already gone. He didn't know what to make of it; did she regret what had happened the night before? Stuart didn't know that but he did know one thing, there was a small part of him that still loved Sam and he wanted to try and make another go of things. Whether she was willing to do that was another thing altogether.

* * *

Sam opened the door to her house and stepped inside. She closed the door behind her and sighed to herself; she slid down to the floor and put her head in her hands. What on earth had possessed her to do what she'd done last night? The details of what had actually happened were a bit patchy in her mind but there was one thing that she did remember, for all the wrong reasons, actually having sex with _him_, no matter how much she tried to force it out of her mind. Her mind kept wandering back to the reasons why she had done what she had; maybe it was because she was feeling lonely. She felt lonely and perhaps Stuart made her feel less so. Sam hadn't heard from Phil since his transfer and maybe, getting his letter the day before just emphasised how truly alone she was.

Her thoughts snapped back to Phil and the letter she'd received yesterday. She stood up and walked towards her telephone, Phil's letter was still there, exactly where she'd left it. Sam took it and put the phone back down. She entered her living room and took her shoes off before sitting herself down on the sofa. She turned the envelope around and opened it. She unfolded the piece of paper inside and began to read:

_Sam,_

_Hope you're OK. Haven't heard from you since I left, I don't know whether it's because you've been too busy or something else._

_Specialist Crimes is OK, a lot harder work than Sun Hill but then working with you always seemed to make doing the job easier._

_You remember on my last day when I said how sorry I was that things hadn't worked out between us? I now know that we should've taken things a bit slower than we did, I didn't mean to put any pressure on you when I said those three words but I know that saying those words so early on probably did put a lot of unnecessary pressure on you, I genuinely did mean what I said, about things not working out, maybe if I hadn't said what I did, they could've done._

_I guess what I'm trying to say is that I still love you Sam and I think that there'll always be a part of me that will._

_I really hope you get this and reply, we didn't promise to keep in touch didn't we?_

_Loads of love Phil xxx_

Sam finished reading Phil's letter and began to feel the tears rolling silently down her cheeks; she made no attempt to brush them away. She looked down as her tears began to drop onto the paper. Sam was really regretting reading this letter now, maybe she should've read it when it came through the door yesterday, perhaps if she had read it yesterday, she may not have ended up sleeping with Stuart. Reading the letter did nothing to make her feel better, if anything, it made her feel worse, the guilt of what she had done the night before was overpowering. She really thought that hearing from Phil would be a good thing; it was just making her feel guiltier about her actions. Sam had made a promise to herself, when she'd got Phil's letter yesterday: to try and move on from him. Last night's events, sleeping with Stuart, had made her realise that it wasn't as simple as she wished it could be. She loved Phil, she couldn't forget that and deep down, she knew that she didn't really want to. She just wished that she'd told Phil how she felt about him sooner, things would've probably been different had she taken a chance on Phil but in the end, her head had won the battle over her heart.

Sam looked up at the clock on her mantelpiece, it read 7:30. She sighed quietly to herself again, she knew she had to get ready for work soon, get ready to face Stuart and explain that last night was nothing more than a mistake, a big mistake. Sam stood up, leaving Phil's opened letter on the sofa and she headed upstairs to get ready for the day ahead.

She entered the bathroom, locking the door after her and she began to undress. Sam turned the shower on and stepped underneath it. She jumped slightly as the cold water cascaded down her back but soon enough, the water began to warm up and Sam began to feel fresher and more revitalised.

* * *

Half an hour later, Sam got out of the shower, wrapped in a fluffy bath towel. She left her bathroom and sat herself down in front of her mirror; Sam picked up her hairdryer and a brush and began to dry her hair. A little while later, her hair was dry and she brushed it through to make sure there weren't any tangles. She stood up and walked over to her wardrobe and picked out her clothes for that day, a black suit and a pink blouse. She got dressed and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Sam then turned around and looked at her clock, it was nearly 8:15, she had better be going soon.

Sam went back downstairs and found all her work things, she put Phil's letter on the coffee table in the living room before retrieving her keys and her handbag from the sofa. She put the pair of shoes that she'd discarded nearly an hour ago back on before heading out into her hallway and towards her door. Sam stepped outside and locked the door after her. She got into her car, reversed out of her drive and drove off in the direction of Sun Hill, all the time wondering what she was going to say to Stuart when she saw him again.

**Please review xxx**


	7. No Room For Him

**Heya guys, next chapter for you. Sorry for the massive delay, blame writer's block and a lack of motivation and inspiration. Thanks to Laura (****SaMaNdPhiL4eVeR), Laura (S-Nixon), Sam and Lynsey for reviewing. Thanks also to Barb for reviewing all 6 previous chapters. Please keep doing so, luv ya all Gemz xxx**

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Chapter 7- No Room For Him**

Sam pulled up her car outside the station a little while later. She couldn't see Stuart's car anywhere in the car park, meaning that he wasn't there yet. She sighed to herself; maybe she could get a case that would keep her out of the office for most of the day, delaying the process of telling Stuart what she knew that she had to. Deep down, she knew she was doing the right thing. Things between her and Stuart hadn't worked out before and Sam wasn't sure if they could ever go back. How could she give herself wholly and truly to someone else, knowing that her heart belonged to someone else? There was no room for Stuart in her heart, especially now.

Sam got out of her car and locked it before she headed into the station. She opened her office door when she got there and saw that Neil was already there, 'morning Sam,' he said.

'Morning Neil,' Sam replied as she put her stuff down and herself down at her desk.

She leant downwards and opened one of her drawers, rooting around inside it for some painkillers. She found them and downed them with the bottle of water that she'd brought with her. 'Is that a hangover Sam?' Neil asked.

Sam looked at him, narrowing her eyes towards him, 'yeah, it is, not a big one though,' she replied.

'What happened?'

'I went out with Stuart last night and we got a little bit drunk,'

'Only a little bit?'

'Yes, now will you please stop bugging me,' Sam snapped as she picked up a load of case files and left the office, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

Stuart pulled up outside the station, he saw Sam's car in the car park, meaning that she was already there. That didn't surprise Stuart at all, she was always one of the first into work. He hadn't stopped thinking about what had happened between him and Sam last night, he certainly wanted a repeat performance, he still loved her and he hoped that maybe, they'd be able to make another go of things. He looked into his mirror and saw Sam leaving the station with Jo; they got into the CID car and drove off. He sighed to himself, maybe he would have to talk to her later. He got out of his car and locked before he entered the station.

* * *

'Guv?' Jo asked as their car stopped at a set of traffic lights.

'Yes Jo,' Sam replied.

'Can I ask you a question?'

'Course you can,'

'Why did you want to come and help me out on this robbery?'

Sam looked at her and took a deep breath, 'I just wanted to get out of the office,' she said.

'Avoiding someone are we?' Jo joked.

Sam looked at her again, 'yeah, sort of,' she admitted.

'Avoiding who then?'

'What is this Jo? 20 questions?' Sam asked.

'No, I'm just curious,' Jo replied.

'Stuart and I went after work last night and we got a little bit drunk,'

'So it's a hangover then?'

Sam nodded guiltily, 'I just wanted some fresh air and somehow, I don't think I'm gonna get that in the office,'

The traffic lights changed to green soon after and Jo let go of the handbrake and drove off.

* * *

Sam and Jo arrived back at the station about an hour and a half later, they had collected statements from the witnesses to the robbery and had interviewed the victim at St Hugh's and he had given them a description of his attacker. Sam and Jo had also got the CCTV footage from the surrounding area and were on their way back up to CID so that they could have a look at them. Sam went off to the canteen to get them some coffee while Jo put one of the videos into the video recorder and began to watch it.

Sam came back into her office a few minutes later, carrying two cups of coffee. 'There you go Jo,' she said as she put them down on her desk.

'Thanks guv,' Jo replied as she turned around slightly and picked up the coffee Sam had just got her.

'Found anything yet?' Sam asked as she sat down in her chair.

Jo shook her head, 'nothing yet, just customers,' she said.

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Jo noticed something happening on the screen, 'that's got to be the assailant,' she said.

'Yeah, I think it is,' Sam replied. 'Matches the description the victim gave us at St Hugh's.'

Jo nodded, 'let's go to BIU, see if they can put a name to the face,' she said.

Sam nodded as she heard a knock on the door; 'come in!' she called.

Stuart opened the door and stepped inside, 'can I have a word please guv?' he asked.

Sam looked towards Jo, 'not now Stuart, I'm a bit busy at the moment, it'll have to be later,' she said as she pushed past him and left the office.

Jo smiled apologetically at him before following Sam's lead and leaving the office to head off to BIU.

* * *

'I've found him!' Sam said as Jo entered BIU.

'That quickly?' Jo asked.

Sam nodded, 'who is he then?' Jo asked.

'Harry Woods,' Sam replied as she printed out the information.

'You were a bit off with Stuart just now' Jo started as she sat down in the chair beside Sam.

'Was I?'

Jo nodded, 'what did happen last night and don't give me all this rubbish about getting drunk,' she said.

'It wasn't rubbish!' Sam protested. 'We did get drunk last night but something happened …something I regretted this morning.'

"Which was?' Jo pressed.

Sam took a deep breath before she spoke, 'we slept together,' she finally said.

Jo looked at her, 'and that's something to regret is it?' she asked.

Sam nodded, 'why is it?' Jo asked again.

'Because….I don't love him Jo, it was just a stupid mistake and it shouldn't have happened,' Sam replied.

'I see,' Jo said as silence descended between the pair.

'Come on,' Sam said a few minutes later, 'lets go and arrest this Harry Woods.'

Jo nodded as she followed her boss out of BIU and back into the yard.

* * *

Sam and Jo arrived back at the station an hour later with their suspect in tow. They interviewed him; he confessed to the robbery and was charged. Sam and Jo emerged from the interview room and saw Stuart walking down the custody corridor towards them, 'ahhh guv,' he said as he approached Sam. 'DI Manson said you were down here.'

'What is it Stuart?' Sam asked.

'Are you still busy? If not, I need to speak to you,'

Sam looked towards Jo, 'can you finish up?' she asked.

Jo nodded, 'no problem guv,' she said.

Sam smiled at her as she followed Stuart back through the corridor and up to CID.

'You've been avoiding me all day haven't you?' Stuart asked as Sam closed her office door after her.

'Whatever gave you that idea?' Sam replied.

'I just know when someone's avoiding me,'

'Can you please get to the point Stuart,' Sam said.

'OK then,' Stuart replied. 'I really enjoyed last night Sam and it made me realise that there is still a part of me that still has feelings for you…'

'What are you saying Stuart?' Sam cut over him.

Stuart looked at her as he spoke, 'I want us to get back together Sam,' he said.

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Ooooh, what will she say? Please review xxxx**


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